Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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