FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
