Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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