I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
