I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
