The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
