I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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