he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
