Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
