How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
