Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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