More tranny stories later!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
