He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
