I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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