I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
