Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You smell like stripper and shame
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
