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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
