No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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