Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
