god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
