I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
