i think my mom watched the whole time
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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