Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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