if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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