Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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