I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I FOUND THE LEGS
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
