Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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