went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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