Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
