We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
