To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
