We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
