Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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