Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
