Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
