Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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