They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
