Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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