yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
