We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
