question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
