Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I intend to get homeless drunk
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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