Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
