is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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