This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
