a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
