I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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