Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
