I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
