His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
