i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
